Course Correction

I have been sporadically blogging about values and have been going through a major trial over the last several months, not unlike our country. I am finding it difficult to live within my means, but God continues to provide.

I write this blog today because I see our country floundering in the face of its current challenges.

What do we know: 1. We are in a recession; 2. We as a nation are fast becoming a debtor nation; 3. Possession (in the U.S.) is often perceived as ownership; 4. We can't borrow our way out of debt; 5. God, innovation, freedom, and responsibility are some of the major contributors to our nation's greatness; 6. The adage "insanity is doing the same thing the same way and expecting different results", while it may not be an actual quote, is an accurate statement.

We need to once again become a godly nation. We need to once again become a producing, servant nation. We need to once again become an educated nation. We need to once again become a nation that not only calls the name of God, but that respects the name of God. We need to once again do things to glorify God, not to ingratiate ourselves. We need to put first things first.

I pray that we will make decisions not only for the short term, but with eternity in consideration. I don't want anyone to suffer, but I REALLY don't want us to lose our country BECAUSE we did not want anyone to suffer.

"Dear Lord, please bless us to serve You in spirit and in truth, and to serve each other even as Christ served the people of His time. Help us to make decisions out of love, and not out of fear or self-aggrandizement. Bless us, that we may be a blessing, first to You, and then to those we serve. In Jesus name I pray, Amen"

Integrity

Since beginning this blog, I have found myself, my faith, and my values tested. I am determined to maintain my integrity, but I must confess that it is not easy. I do not want to let go of my values. indeed, I feel that, if I let go my values, I let go of me - my very essence, my very purpose for existing. I feel I MUST be true to who I am and who I was raised to be, if I am to become the person I was created to be.

I am challenged in ways I have not been in over 20 years and yes, I am VERY nervous - even scared. However, I believe God has a purpose for what I am going through and, I don't know when, and I don't know how, but I believe He will not only bring me through this situation better off than when I entered into it, but I will also benefit the kingdom in ways that I could not have if I did not go through this.

I hope I do not get discouraged and selfishly keep this journey to myself. Rather, I pray that I will share this journey so that someone else who is going through, or maybe is about to go through this journey, may be comforted.

Tell yourself, and others, the truth….

13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 13:7
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth
all things.

Simply put, don't tell someone you love them when all you want is to use and/or abuse her or him. Oh, and you can't love her or him, if what you do is outside the will of Love (God). Tell yourself the truth and then you can tell others the truth. What is the truth? God is Truth, the Author of Truth, the Embodiment of Truth, and the Fulfillment of Truth. He and His Word are one. His Word is Truth. So read His Word. Desire His Word. Immerse yourself in and continuously seek His Truth, and His Truth, THE Truth, SHALL make you free.

If you love, suffer. Suffer because of those you love. Suffer in spite of those you love. Suffer, and do not blame those you love because you suffer. And then, believe that all things will work together for good to them that love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose; for those for whom you have suffered; and even for you.

Hope. Hope not with human hope, but with the hope of God. Don't 'hope that things will work out okay'. Hope that things HAVE worked out okay; you just can't see it yet. Hope like Abraham hoped. He did not live to fully see all that he hoped for. But he hoped so hard, and he trusted God so much, that his hope is still being fulfilled. Hope like Jesus hoped. He hoped so hard that He gave His life for those for whom He hoped. BUT.... His hope did not stay dead, and neither did He. He hoped so hard, that His hope - God Himself - raised Him from the dead, and is still raising us from the dead in Him. Endure death so that God Himself will raise you from the dead.

Love – AND Beat, Kill, Distrust, Disrespect, Tear Down, Destroy? Or….

It took me awhile to get back to this theme. Love is an AWESOME value, and a difficult one to live up to. I found myself overwhelmed by my own shortcomings to the point that I became discouraged from writing. But God….

The Bible says that real love “…is not easily provoked, and it thinks no evil…” (1st Corinthians 13: 5b). So…. When a spouse beats a significant other (verbally or physically) and says she or he loves the other, is it true? When one spouse checks the other’s cell phone because the other MUST be seeing someone else, is that truly love? Perhaps some folks think so. Perhaps there are other forces at play. Perhaps the spouse that beats the other spouse WANTS to love. Perhaps the spouse that beats the other BELIEVES she or he loves but, because of any number of reasons, that spouse is incapable of loving anyone else. Perhaps that spouse has never known REAL love, and never loved him- or herself, so she or he does not know how to love anyone else.

Perhaps the spouse that distrusts the other WANTS to believe in her or him. Perhaps the spouse that disrespects wants to honor the other. Perhaps the one who tears down the self esteem and reputation of the other has grown up in an environment that demonstrated such behavior as okay, even loving. Perhaps many people would be happy to be treated in such manners. I personally would not. I would much rather be trusted, respected, esteemed, and built up.

Perhaps it is love to ‘mistreat others’, perhaps it is not. I leave you to answer that. I can say this with confidence…. According to the love that God demonstrated to us, “…while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us…” (Romans 5:8), and enabled our adoption into the family of God (Gal. 4:5-6). Christ did not beat us; He blessed us. Christ did not curse us; He prayed for us. Christ did not turn us away; He gently and lovingly reached out to gather us to Himself. Christ did not allow us to die in our sickness, confusion, and rebellion; by His stripes, He healed us. The further we went from Him, the further He went for us. As we consider our love for others, let us remember God’s (and Christ’s) love for us. Neither God nor Christ is easily provoked, and neither God nor Christ thinks evil of us, in spite of us. Let us follow their examples.

Love Seeketh Not Her Own

We seem to have confused a lot of different ‘stuff’’ as love. Wanting someone or something that is for someone else is not love – it is covetousness. When one desires someone else’s person, place or thing(s), one is breaking a commandment of Love – thou shalt not covet. When one desires sex out of wedlock, from anyone or anything, one is breaking one and maybe two commandments of Love - thou shalt have no other gods before me and thou shalt not commit adultery.

When we impose our desires and/or will over God’s, we place our desires and/or ourselves as gods.

As you consider the above, please consider it thinking of yourself and your alignment with God's will, not someone else. We should read the Bible as if we are looking in the mirror. James says in 1:23 and 24, "For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass...he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was." We need to know what we are seeking from love and those around us, and examine our motives individually, not the motives of those around us.

42 Lovers

1Corinthians 13: 4 (a) “Charity suffereth long, and is kind;”
I look at the partial verse above and I think, “We have gone a LONG way from the truth”. Charity (or love) suffereth long…. In today’s society, it seems that suffering is viewed with the same displeasure or hatred that I believe SIN once was. NOW, our society tells us to SIN rather than SUFFER. However, I recently participated in an event and I saw a different application of suffering that gave me hope for today and our future.

42 men and women (35 men and 7 women) took time out of their normal schedules and for about 2 months subjected themselves to dancing. “Subjected themselves to dancing”, you say? How is THAT suffering? Well, if you have never learned to count 1-2-3, 2-2-3, 3-2-3, 4-2-3, and keep in step to that count, and learned to spin, and bow or curtsey, or reverse spin, then trust me, you are subjecting yourself to dancing – more specifically, to the dance of waltzing.

I saw (because of my injury, I suffered the ridicule of NOT being able to participate in the waltz) 42 men and women subject themselves to arduous dance routines that I believe ONLY LOVE inspired them to endure. They did the waltz, not because they had to, but because they wanted to demonstrate their love to their child, their niece, their nephew, or their friend.

The Kansas City chapter of Delta Sigma Theta (DST) Cotillion was the conduit that enabled these 42 lovers to demonstrate their love, but it was the selflessness of the 42 lovers that impressed me that “some of us have the definition of love right”. The 42 lovers (and 42 participants) suffered LONG, with GREAT reward. When the formal presentation event was held on April 3, 2010 in Kansas City, Missouri, the 42 lovers and participants glistened against the applause and admiration of the 600 plus attendees of the 25th annual DST Cotillion Ball.

Being kind seems to have gone the way of dinosaurs – become extinct. Rudeness is the way of the day. You are not cool if you are not rude. And yet, societal controls say, rude leads to crude, which leads to lewd, which often leads to crime – crime, which is glorified in the popular songs of today. We think, "Singing about it [crime] does not popularize it". “Singing about it [crime] does not promote it.” “Demonstrating acts of lewdness on television does not promote illicit sex and our children will understand that it is only an illusion that is being played before them.” And then, a major songstress strips naked in public, with children and adults all around. NOW what do we say? The child asks, "Why did she do that"? I ask, “Why did we think she would NOT do it”?

We are reaping the fruits of our crudeness. If we want different fruit, we need to sow different seeds. Let’s take it upon ourselves individually and collectively to sow kind words, considerate words, thoughtful words, words that build character into those who receive them rather than stripping them of their humanity. Let’s sow kind deeds that demonstrate to others that love is an action verb that bestows kindness, and that love is still alive. We can follow the songstress’s example, or we can follow the example of the 42 lovers. As for me, I plan to follow the example of the 42 lovers.

What’s Love NOT Got to Do with it?

A few years ago there was a song, What’s love got to do with it. It seems that song indicated that love was nothing more than a second hand emotion. I thought it was cute then. Now, I think we set the stage for the cynicism, selfishness, and disconnectedness that plagues our society today. So…. I now ask the question, What’s Love NOT got to do with?

When I remember my parents and what they did for me, I can only ask, "What did love NOT have to do with it?" How does one put someone else’s interests ahead of his or her own and NOT love them? Now that I am a parent and I find myself GLADLY sacrificing for my children’s well-being and not even thinking about it, I ask, "What’s love NOT got to do with it?" And since my fracture, my wife’s self-less service to me and our family prompts me to ask, What’s Love NOT got to do with it? She gets little if anything for the extra running and effort she is putting forth, but she does it anyway. Why? CERTAINLY not because I deserve it – I most assuredly do NOT deserve it. Could it be that she does it because she loves me AND our family? What’s Love NOT got to do with it?

I think that a large part of the problem is that our definitions of love have become MUCH too shallow and self-engendered. We have defined love according to our personal perspectives. However, when I take a look at what I believe to be the Biblical definition of love, I get a whole different perspective of what love is (and is NOT).
I am going to do something that I am not at all comfortable doing…. I am going to end this week’s blog with a block of scripture. I hope you will come back and see what happens AFTER the block of scripture. Regardless, I am doing what I believe I must…. I pray that you will do the same….

The following scripture was extracted from www.rhymezone.com (URL: http://www.rhymezone.com/r/gwic.cgi?Word=_&Path=holy/newtestament/1corinthians/13//). The scripture is from 1st Corinthians 13: 4 – 13.

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”

LOVE

Merriam-Webster.com says love is “(1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b : an assurance of love

As my first blog indicated, I fractured my ankle a few weeks ago. I am the bread-winner of my household. It is my job to ensure my family has food, protection, shelter, financial well-being, and connectedness. Since fracturing my ankle, I have found myself feeling pangs of guilt because I am unable to consistently provide for my family. There are those who would say “Why do you feel guilty? You did not do this on purpose, or did you?” No…. I ABSOLUTELY did NOT do this on purpose. I feel guilty because my love for my family informs me that I need to ensure their needs are met – PERIOD.

I think of my role in my family as being God’s representative for my family on earth. However, I am a human, and this fracture has reminded me just HOW human I am. I want my family to have everything they need to be successful in life – successful in achieving all that God wants them to be. This last three weeks have been eye-opening. I can only do what God enables me to do. The love that I strive to demonstrate to my family is the love that I believe God demonstrates to and through me. LOVE? You say, “You fractured your ankle, and you think that God loves you?” Yeah…. Even I struggle with that one at times. But I do believe that God does allow some TRULY unusual things to happen. At the same time, I FULLY believe that God loves us. He allows us to experience things – pain, death, loss – that hurt beyond measure. And yet, in the midst of allowing us to experience such challenges, He is right there with us. He feels, He even shares, our pain, but He does not always take us OUT of our pains.

I am in the midst of sharing in my daughter’s preparations for graduation from High School and to the next stage in her life. I see her struggling through pains and part of me wants to take the pains away. However, if I take the pains away, she will not learn from the experience. Not only will SHE not learn from these pains, but others around us would miss out on lessons and other opportunities as well. I have watched her go through some of the pains and have been proud to be her father. She has grown by leaps and bounds. It has almost scared me to see her grow SO fast.

Love is not always shielding those we care about from pains. Sometimes it is allowing them to find their way THROUGH pain so they find their way TO a stronger, more courageous, more loving self. I don’t know how long it will be for me to find my way through my current pains. Truthfully, I don’t know IF I will find my way through the pains to continue to live in this world. However, I trust that, wherever I find myself, I will find a stronger, more courageous, and more loving me.

Expanding the Beginning

I said I would begin at the beginning, and I offered my perspective on what I believe values are (“…guiding principles that enable us to demonstrate a level of integrity (a value in and of itself) so that those with whom we interact can have some idea of what they can expect of us”). I now offer other definitions of values and suggest that we build perceptions of values that help us determine what values may offer us in the 21st Century.

Values as defined by worldnetweb.princeton.,edu/perl/webwn as,“beliefs of a person or social group in which they have an emotional investment (either for or against something); "he has very conservatives values"”.

Values as defined by en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Values - “A personal and cultural value is a relative ethic value, an assumption upon which implementation can be extrapolated. A value system is a set of consistent values and measures. A principle value is a foundation upon which other values and measures of integrity are based. ...”

Over the last several months I have found it disturbing that we openly lie on television commercials. We indiscriminately mix sex, drugs, violence, and destructive behavior into media shows and advertisements and display it for all to see at anytime, at any place. We do all this, while not only continuing to confess ourselves to be people with Christian values, but some even do these things ‘in the name of God’, as if invoking His blessing. We do this despite the fact that the Christian’s “values guidebook”, the Bible, clearly tells us NOT to do them. In upcoming entries, we will take a look at some of those Biblical sayings and what God promises in relation to them. We will also take a look at some of those sayings and what God promises if we continue to disobey or rebel against Him. Some see the Bible as a purely ‘spiritual’ book. Some see it as a ‘story’ book, with little or no empirical value in today’s society. I see the Bible as a ‘spiritual’ book that provides empirical guidance, enabling its believers to experience the realities it professes when they faithfully comply with its teachings - positively or negatively.

Suffice it to say that, if my children, who go by my name, continually do those things that I tell them NOT to do, they run the risk of my revoking my support or ‘blessing’ for them and their lifestyles/behaviors. In 2 Chronicles 7:14, the Lord says, “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land” (The Holy Bible, KJV). This scripture sounds a lot like what I said from a practical parenting point of view. If we profess ourselves to be God’s children, but we continue to believe, think, and do those things that God has told us NOT to do, we run the risk that, sooner or later, God will withdraw His blessing from us. In fact, the Bible is replete with examples of this very fact. For some the question is, is this a fact? My experience tells me that it is indeed a fact. What do your experiences tell you?

Lord, help us to read your Word, so we can get to know you better; help us to study your Word so we can see who we are in Your eyes; and help us to LIVE your Word, so that others may see you in us and give YOU the glory, the honor, and the praise. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Begin at the Beginning

As I embark on this blogging journey, I find myself house-locked because of a fractured ankle. In an effort to serve my family, employer, and clients, I injured myself and have caused myself a bit of down time. However, Romans 8:28 says "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose". I decided to use this 'downtime' to begin a project I have put off for sometime because I was not sure where I should begin. So.... I am beginning at the beginning.

This initial blog will be short. I will introduce myself more over time, and I will discuss my approach to embracing and living out values. I begin now by suggesting that values should not be some nice sounding words that we post on our websites and walls and forget. They SHOULD be guiding principles that enable us to demonstrate a level of integrity (a value in and of itself) so that those with whom we interact can have some idea of what they can expect of us.

I hope you will come with me on this journey and, together, we will begin to impact the quality of behavior we each demonstrate. Who knows, maybe we will start a revolution that sweeps the world over and improves the quality not only of our behavior, but of our lives, our products, our services, our outlooks, and our outcomes.